Tired of Failing? Think Again.

Tired of Failing? Think Again.

Are you tired of failing? Do you feel like no matter what you do, you're always coming up short? Here’s a radical shift in perspective for you:

You’re not failing—you're succeeding at something you don’t want.

Yes, you read that right!

Most people are wildly successful. They’ve mastered the art of creating outcomes they don’t desire. In fact, every single so-called "failure" is proof that you're excellent at manifesting results—you just haven't been conscious of the process.

Imagine if you applied that same success toward what you do want! As a life and business coach, I've seen it time and again: when people embrace their ‘failures’ as indicators of how successful they are at producing results, they gain the power to reframe their entire mindset.

Failure is not the opposite of success—it’s evidence of your power to create. Once you understand that you're always manifesting, you can begin to use this skill intentionally. So, how do you shift from manifesting what you don’t want to manifesting what you do want?

The key lies in understanding the Law of Attraction: like attracts like. Everything starts with a thought—because thoughts are energy, and that energy shapes your reality. Whether or not you believe in the Law of Attraction, it’s at work every moment, creating the trajectory of your life based on your thoughts and emotions.

Wise words from Lao Tzu capture this perfectly: "Watch your thoughts; they become your words. Watch your words; they become your actions. Watch your actions; they become your habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny"

This explains why you are where you are today. But it also points to the liberating truth: You can change your destiny. And it starts with mastering your thoughts and words.

Here’s how you can shift from manifesting failure to manifesting the life you want, using a process I call the Dream Process:

1. Visualization

Start by immersing yourself in the life you desire. Picture yourself living it, engage all your senses, and feel the emotions of that reality. The trick here is not just to see the life you want but to experience it emotionally and energetically. Your subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between a real event and a vividly imagined one, so hold onto that energy like it’s already happening.

2. Affirmations

Your thoughts give rise to your words, and your words shape your reality. Align your words with your vision. Speak affirmations that reflect the life you're visualizing. Your words will naturally drive your actions, influencing both your external behavior and internal mindset. When your words and thoughts are in alignment, they become the powerful engine that transforms your life.

3. Gratitude

Gratitude is the essential feedback loop for your subconscious. It confirms that the process is working. By being thankful for what you already have (even in the smallest of things), you signal to your subconscious mind that you're moving in the right direction. Gratitude helps reinforce the flow of positive outcomes, making the manifestation process more efficient.

How We Create "Failure" Unconsciously

You might be wondering, “If I’m always manifesting, why do I keep creating outcomes I don’t want?” The answer is simple: most of us use the Law of Attraction mindlessly, without realizing we are attracting what we don’t want. Let’s look at how this works in two common areas of life: relationships and money.

Example 1: The Relationships You Attract

You might notice a pattern in your relationships, where you keep ending up with partners who don’t respect you, who are emotionally unavailable, or who don’t share your values. Let’s break down the thought process behind this and how the same Dream Process (visualization, affirmation, and gratitude) is at work, but in the wrong direction:

• Visualization: Instead of visualizing the type of partner you want, you might be focusing on your past relationships or your fear of being alone. You replay past arguments, betrayals, or feelings of unworthiness. You mentally imagine scenarios where you're abandoned, neglected, or mistreated again.

• Affirmations: Your thoughts turn into words like, “I’ll never find someone who truly loves me,” or “All the good people are already taken.” These words reinforce the belief that you're not worthy of a healthy, loving relationship, and that affirmation drives your subconscious to seek out partners who reflect those very fears.

• Gratitude: Rather than being grateful for the qualities you want in a partner, you’re constantly dwelling on what you don’t like about your dating experiences. You might even say things like, “I knew it wouldn’t work out, nothing ever does.” This form of “gratitude” confirms to your subconscious that failure is expected, reinforcing the cycle.

In this way, you’re unintentionally using the same powerful process to attract exactly what you don’t want. Now imagine flipping the script—visualizing a partner who treats you with love and respect, affirming that you are worthy of a healthy relationship, and being grateful for the love that’s already on its way to you. This shift in energy would change the kind of partners you attract.

Example 2: The Money You Struggle With

Most people have a complicated relationship with money, and many unconsciously push it away. Let’s take a look at how this process might play out:

• Visualization: You might be constantly picturing bills piling up, imagining worst-case scenarios where you can’t make rent, or focusing on how much debt you have. This is a form of visualization, but it’s directed toward lack, scarcity, and financial fear.

• Affirmations: Your words might sound like, “I’ll never get ahead,” or “No matter how hard I work, I can’t save money.” These affirmations reinforce the idea that abundance is out of reach for you, and your actions will follow that belief, often manifesting in overspending, missed opportunities, or staying in underpaid jobs.

• Gratitude: Instead of being grateful for the money that flows into your life (no matter how little), you might be focusing on what you don’t have. Complaints like “I never have enough,” or “I’m so broke,” affirm the scarcity you’re experiencing, confirming it to your subconscious mind.

Now, let’s shift this mindset. Visualize yourself in financial abundance—imagine checking your bank account and seeing the numbers growing, picture yourself comfortably paying bills and saving for the future. Speak affirmations like, “I am open to receiving financial abundance,” and “Money flows to me easily and effortlessly.” And finally, express gratitude for every dollar you receive and spend, knowing that gratitude attracts more abundance. When you rewire your thoughts and words toward financial prosperity, the opportunities, ideas, and resources you need will start to show up.

Still skeptical?

You’re already using this process every day, whether you realize it or not. Most people are simply unaware that their thoughts, words, and emotions are crafting their reality. The secret is to take conscious control of this process. If you’re tired of failing, it's time to wake up to your power.

And if you’re skeptical, I get it. I was once in your shoes, too. But after years of observing successful people, I realized that they’re not different from me or you. They simply made the decision to master the process of creation, something we’re all doing every day, unconsciously or otherwise.

Conclusion

Failure isn’t your enemy—it’s a stepping stone to the success that’s already within you. You just need to direct your energy toward the outcomes you want. Take control of the process, and your visible reality will soon match your inner vision.

mycoach@ddrmlife.com